Corporate Stories - E1 :: Helplessness - The day she breaks down

Achala was restless, confused; thinking when all did go wrong. She could not believe the conversation that she had today. It was going over and over, still did not make sense. She has worked so hard, she always has. "Is this my fault?" rings in her head. "Am I not good enough? Just an average software professional who can never make it to the top. But I tried everything.", she screamed in her head. 

Girish is home early today than his usual time. "What's wrong?" He senses her mood as he walks in. Seeing him gave her the courage to be weak and she broke down into tears. 

"I'm going to get fired. I worked so hard." She kept crying and nothing else would come out.

He holds her in his arm, "Tell me what has happened?" 

"I don't know. They might fire me".

"For what?"

"Because it is not working out. And all the blame is on me. It had never worked in the first place." And her head is spinning thinking about all the expenses whether Home loan EMI, Bills and so many payments that need to be paid. Damn, I earn a lot!

"Alright, calm down." But tears don't stop. Girish calls Achala's near and dear friend Karan to tell him that she doesn't stop crying. 

Karan has known Achala since childhood. They are as close as any other sibling and have managed to stay in touch and connected.

"Stop worrying about money, we are there!" 

Did she tell him that she has been worried about that? He understands and more tears find their way out. Karan keeps talking while trying to keep the tone neutral so that she doesn't sense the sadness in his voice. "What are you worried about? Who will get another job if you won't? And you know they can't fire you like that. It is not that easy. Stop crying now, freshen up and call me." Karan said. She knew he is only trying to make her feel better, and she felt better for some time. 

Achala didn't feel like talking or doing anything. It has been the same for the past few months. For the first time in her decade-long career, she didn't feel like going to work. She had lost excitement to work in that office, with those people and for the work itself.

She was immersed in her thoughts. My situation is so much like that dog sitting outside the office. I don't know what to do, where to go, what has happened to me. 

She remembered the day that male dog was sitting in the corner of the entrance, not looking at anyone, stinking, helpless. She was returning from her coffee break, possibly the only time that she enjoyed in the office. A couple of people told her that we need to get rid of him, it can't sit inside the office premises. She went over and the dog seemed to be in bad shape, also hungry. She gave him a few biscuits so that she can take a look at his wounds. Water was dripping from one of the ears, it was wounded and stinking pretty bad. She had never noticed him with the usual dog gang around that area. But there was no time. She called Girish and he said whatever way we can help to save a life, let's do that.

Once again she couldn't stop admiring Girish for being such a person who makes that U-turn from the other side of the road, only to help a person and even an animal. At times it is annoying but she loves him for that. At times she wishes he change and most of the time, stay who he is.

Jolting back to the earlier cloud of thoughts, she remembered how it took almost 2-3 months of dedicated care and routine checkup for that dog to recover and be healthy enough to demand his share for daily lunch. 

What if I had not seen him? What if he would have been shooed away? Or what if I had not called Girish? Or if I had not decided to help thinking I can't or I won't or someone else will.

Today when I'm wounded like that dog, does anyone see me at all? I'm not even as lucky as he was?

And she couldn't control the stream of tears, yet again.

Possibly, this is what sets Leaders and Managers apart.

Leaders know who, when, and how to help without making one uncomfortable and humiliated.

While Managers wait for someone to ask for help because they don't know how to lift them up.

It all started a few months back when her current company got acquired. She was a cloud expert, involved in design discussion, converting on-paper architecture to actual implementation. Though the company boasted a flat structure, the ladder was quite apparent. She thought maybe this is it, this is what I want to work hard for and grow with.

The murmurs were that the product will get bigger with this acquisition. She was excited.

But to her surprise with the acquisition, some of the strategies changed and the top management decided to move her out of the Cloud expert role and move to another project to provide customer support. 

She couldn’t decide how it fits her profile but the top management asked her to focus on making this great project profitable again. 

She wasn’t sure but thought it could be an opportunity to grow differently and anyways the project is doomed. What could be worse than that!

And few days in the new role, she realized that she is sailing a Titanic - an engineering giant yet a very well-managed failure. Yet she decided to give it a try, maybe she can make it work. And, nobody wanted to get their hands dirty in that mud. She thought she could walk away clean out of it.

But little did she know, if she was expecting to rise with the success of it, either she was going to get burnt to ashes with its failure or she had to rise like a phoenix to find herself again.

*** Tips and Tricks ***

The leadership is to be able to help or mentor ones who don't know if there is a problem. Or the least managers could help create a conducive environment, where one can make a mistake and still not feel humiliated. 

That's how you build trust and at the same time make them feel accountable for their actions. 

Isn't it?

Update - Based on the suggestion of a friend, modified the Tips and Tricks section to make it more relatable to the story context.