Feel Alive

Story of a Loyal Software Professional - turned - Disloyal " I have been associated with an organization for quite a few years. I worked hard and they paid me well for few years, great recognition, appreciation et. al. Few months back, then I realized its time & decided to move on for various reasons. Now things changed as soon as I resigned. I was no more insider. Everybody had told me - this is how they are and I never believed until I experienced. Now this is how things turned out to be and I was surprised (not shocked, will tell you why) Story starts here -  Usually company disburses Performance Bonus in certain month of every year and that very year policy was changed - to disburse bonus a month later. Though it was not fine (c'mon, everyone is not super-rich. We plan our payments.), but nobody had an option and after all, Management didn't care.  Fortunately / Unfortunately, I had to resign before bonus was disbursed. Though I knew there was n...

Dil ki gardish mein apni Kashti bade mushkilo se sambhali hamne । Kashti ka kiya gumaan hamko naseeb daar keh diya logo ne ।। Kaise dikhaye logo ko woh haatho ke chhale aankho mein khoon । Chalo kashti ko toh khabar hamari hai ye tha sukoon ।। Par kismet ke rang toh dekho tutata hai har sukoon । Kashti ka dil hua ab main kisi aur ko chunu ।। Uff takleef apno ke naa samjh paane ki, hamein hindolo mein chhod jaane ki । Lekin ham kaha kam hai - ek aur kashti banayenge aur ussi gardish se ubhar kar aayenge ।। Koi samjhe naa samjhe ham toh ek din zaroor Khud ko samjh jaayenge ।।।

One of my family group on Whatsapp had a circulated message sent by one of my cousin. Usually I stay off from these distractions in office hours. But this one had that peculiar irrational logic, which I'm still learning to ignore. So it was about inter - religion marriage, to be specific 'Hindu - Muslim'. Yeah, now you know how serious it can get. So after reading that very long message, I was like - "Dude, you are going to be an engineer of 21st century and still stuck with this. Don't you have better things to do?" I get predictable defensive response saying 'Truth is truth'. And I want to know how the hell do you decide what is Truth ! I will come back to this again.  And he wakes up and realizes (not sure in lack of proper reasoning or to avoid being rude) that I'm his elder sister so he can't argue with me as it is not our culture and he is sorry.  Seriously !!! This is why his parents are spending so much money, so that he can ...

Today is special for various reasons. I'm excited, nervous, doubtful, hopeful, bit sad and very happy. It is last working day in Gujarat after being here for almost 1 Year and almost a quarter, just want to say 'Loved you Gujarat and specially Ahmedabad...' Started Gujarat with  'Fast & Furious 6' and it has been a chase round the year for deadlines, engagement, wedding, increments, travelling, job search, packing and finally moving to new city. Gandhinagar was calm, isolated; too peaceful for this Mumbai Girl. Ahmedabad is rush (not as much as Mumbai though so chill !), really liked the city and specially the place where I stayed. One of the best thing about Ahmedabad is AMC (Ahmedabad Municipal Corporation). They go door - to - door for garbage collection almost every alternate day. You won't find garbage mounds dumped round the corner. They spread pesticides during rains to prevent Water-borne diseases. AMC will go to every hou...

Few months / years back, my Dad's kids were inseparable. Talking school / college gossip, office nuisance, technical talks, philosophy diggings, self made theories, analysis, conclusions, everything was routine. Whole day chit chat and my Mom was like 'How much you guys have to talk?' That time probably we never thought of being apart. Even our Dad dreamt of a big house where we 3 will be together forever (no joking, seriously !!!). But as they say - O nly permanence in universe , is Change . As Wheels of Time rolled to add number of greys, we grew up in our careers, got better opportunities for better growth; money and things kept moving. And, now when I look back, we three are at three difference places, busy in our own new daily routine, We still do all the talking / gossiping, but far less than how it was earlier. We probably could have never imagined that, we would survive with this less talking to each other. However, as the saying goes, a Bird will...

Today when I complete 5 years with my current organization, I want it to be special. 😎 For the first time my Sister has written some literature stuff (😱 except for the Exam times) and that too it says good things about me (so I want to keep record of it 😄). Special occasion treat !!! 😉 Here she goes - "... Today suddenly when I look back 6 years from now, i realize being in IT was not bad decision ( me - as if she had so many choices 😛)   Even it makes me think, Nothing can be better than this. I can't forget the day when I took admission ( me - her college was like in Village, so far. I still wonder how she travelled their everyday for 4 years.) .  I can't even forget my First code that was printf of C written by Bhaiya ( me - my younger and her elder brother) and motivating me to learn coding. Then as years went by and I completed my engineering,Ii realized that while in college I learnt nothing but hats off to Bhaiya and Didi ( me - Didi is me ☺️ ). I don...

Excerpt from  Immortals of Meluha by Amish Tripathi (First part of Shiva Triology) - When Shiva decides to fight against Evil by collaborating with Good who were waiting for him from years. After dreadful massacre and victory, he realizes that the losing Evilious enemy was also waiting for him to make them victorious over Evil by being on their side. It turned out to be just a matter of chance for who got hold of Shiva first and fed him with Goodness of their civilization and Evilness of other civilization.  At this point, Shiva realized that none of them were evil, they were just Different. Isn't it a difficult feeling when you fight for something which you so much believed to be right, turns out NOT to be the only right thing!!! Suddenly all strength you drawn to fight that one cause seems so meaningless.  It's not ego, it's not lack of intellect to judge, still it went wrong and it hurts. Not because it has defied the cause, it pains because it has h...